Famous Last Words

I wrote this yesterday.

"I'm just going through the motions. I have nothing to live for. When I was low and feeling depressed, I had something to live for. Now I don't. I just can't see a way out other than to take my own life. I don't want to make a spectacular statement. I just don't want to live anymore. The best things in my life have been taken from me and no matter how much I beg I'm not getting them back. I've tried reasoning and pleading but nothing works. I wish it didn't have to be this way but I don't want to continue with the life I have left."

And then I saw this photo of my boys.

I still feel depressed, I still feel suicidal and yet...

And yet...

Welcome To The Stunning Crew

For the second time in as many months we have lost another friend and it doesn't get any easier to cope with the loss of someone taken before their time. Dominic Osborne's death came out of the blue and it hit us hard. We were caught off guard, safe in the knowledge that lightning couldn't strike twice in the same place. How wrong we were.

I can only imagine how hard it must have been for Dom's family to find the words to speak at his funeral, as I struggle for words to post in my blog. I am sorry to say that they did a far better job than me. Actually, that's the way it should be and as such I  asked for permission to use his sister, Louisa's, tribute here. Thankfully she consented, only requesting that I help to promote the VMG (Virgin Money Giving) page that was set up in his honour to help those living with diabetes. Click here for details.

 

 

My darling brother Dom, my Best Friend, my Schemes & my STUNNING!

I have so many things that I want to say but it is just impossible to say it all...

It's extremely difficult to talk about the sheer magnitude your loss has had and will continue to have on myself, Richard & Sarah but especially Mum & Dad. Our lives will never be the same again but I can promise you that as your little sister (which I know a lot of people found amusing as I towered over you) I will do everything in my power to support them all through this as I know you loved us all very much. We will never stop talking about you, thinking about you or loving you.

You don't have to worry about a thing anymore Schemes, nothing at all. You are in a better place, although I would do anything to have you back here with us all now. My heart is broken and I am lost without you but I will continue to find strength and will hopefully one day have my own family who I will be proud to tell all about you.

 

You will be in my life every single day!

 

Spag bol will never be the same.

Leahy!! Your bestie! Don't worry we'll look after him!

Cheese!! It's lovely stuff you'd say. This Christmas we'll eat the best of it for you.

The fry ups, the curry nights, spicy pork with Kendo, the roasts on Sunday! Herb up the gravy it's the best! Blacking it up, the sweat towel and a huge cup of tea. Sausage casserole!!!

The master at pool, pool comps everywhere, the Apollo, The Railway, The Goodwill, The Junction. Pocket blocking in full swing, two shots red, one on the black. North Harrow Snooker hall, I never went but you, Dad & Richard had a ball.

X files, Eastenders, Star wars, Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Ghostbusters, Superman you could quote them all. You know the whole cast of enders and got annoyed if I didn't know who you were talking about... Beale the undead!!! Gremlins too.. Ra Ra that's for you! CSI!!!

Gin & Tonic... Double, Kronenbourg & lime which don't worry I'll drink all the time! Guinness, Vodka & red bull and the special Jack & coke! Yates on a Thursday, Junction on a Sunday... Ice, Ice Baby! Plus all those in between.

The fast show was one of your favs you'd quote it all day long.

Your special language with Richard will be missed most of all, shouting out boggins as you stood in the hall. I will try and learn it to make Richard smile but there is no one as funny as little old you!

Hello Pipe I shouted from the car window one day, no bag that's not pipe you cried as the man walked away. We laughed so much that we were almost sick I was desperate to see his bottle opening trick.

Dougie D all up my arse like fleas we smell panties... all up my crack! Lady D the stunning one, she always had your back! 

Kipping! Piping our eye! The barge holiday, barge poos (I'll explain that one later!) it's drifting, it's drifting... oh what laughs.

Old Bill, stand still... cop shop drop... & Lou Lou & I did drop

The leather jacket... your trade mark! Mr Khan's leather shop with 2fine!

The job!!!

Jumping Bean, Niblet! My feet are brewing & the brewster!! What ever happened to her you'd say!

Weez & Grawwny, let's go for coffee!

The deeds!!!! Deedage!

Take it I'm scared

Mum's choring! She'll keep it up but I will chore now too (bet that's music to your ears mum)

The nights we'd sit and chat about everything... it will never be the same. Smoking your mays one after the other.

The CHOONS, THE TUNES!!

Vanilla Ice

Grant no neck... We'll go here, but it closes in half hour... Don't worry... we'll carry on drinking!

The Colonel your hero, & Mum, your rock

George Lucozade & Lucozade Glucose tablets!

Jany Boy!

Almost thrown out of Claridges... only you! The Ritz, The Connaught, Tea at Browns! We dined at the best!

The fish eye when Mum said No Louisa NO!! The french restaurant where Mum spat out the snails! 

Oily Rag Nuncle? Is it man or is it boy Cliver?

Who do you think you are Ja Rule!?

We love you Jimmy!!!

The list goes on & on & on and on! Sorry that I haven't mentioned it all but I've got my life to do that for you my darling big bro

So much that will remind me of you, WELCOME TO THE STUNNING CREW!

 

 

 

'Anyone fancy a pint?'

 

 

Farewell my friend

In the week since Becky Kennett left us, we have each dealt with it in our own way. Many of us (and believe me, there were MANY) left a message on Becky's Facebook page. I have decided to quote as many as I could in my blog. This is what little I can do to show my respect for a woman that lived every moment of her life to the fullest and never gave up.

"You are a beautiful soul Becky and know you will be missed by many."
"Cannot believe that heaven has taken another beautiful angel way too early."
"I can't express how much you will be missed... You have left a huge whole in the world, loved by so many, you will be missed more then you will ever know."
"...glad your out of pain now. R.I.P Angel."
"I hope you have found peace in heaven. Goodbye for now until we one day meet again..."
"...you have touched so many people's life's. You will be missed."
"I didn't even know about your battle Becky. Way way way too young"
"Live life to the full, let go of hatred and be compassionate to others. The people you love and care about may not be here tomorrow."
"Sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, Becky."
"You stayed so strong throughout your battle...every time I saw you, you never failed to have a beaming smile on your face."
"It was a great pleasure to have known you!"
"You have been taken way to soon, I only hope you know how much you touched my life and everyone who knows you!"
"This has made me realise life is too short to wait for things and plan ahead, we must live for the now!"
"In the words of my 5 year old! Don't be upset mummy, u can't go for dinner or lunch with Becky anymore but u can always talk to her in heaven whenever u want."
"Life can be very unfair but, looking at what everyone has written, you definitely left your mark."
"What a terrible loss to the world, a beautiful light has gone out."
"...always made me smile, and a pleasure to have known you...""You have been so brave & I now hope you are at peace."
"...we had a lot of laughs and good times...that is something that I will treasure..."
"...one of the most beautiful, kind, funny girl I've ever had the pleasure of meeting..."
"...such an amazing person, not just a beautiful girl outside but inside as well. so happy to have met u and call u a friend."
"There was never a dull moment with U around Always Smiling Laughing..."
"I've got nothing but fond memories of you..."
"You will be most stunningly missed."
"You were one in a million, who always made everyone smile with your infectious personality. So glad I had you in my life."
"Shine brightly in the sky always."
"You brightened up everyone's lives who were fortunate enough to meet you."
"...such a laugh and joy to be with..."
"Will always remember the good times."
"I want to hear your infectious laugh just one more time."
"You were always the life of the party, I will remember you as bubbly and happy. One of the kindest people I've known."
"Friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know they are always there."

My own personal memory of Becky was when she danced with me when nobody else would. To put it into perspective, the music that was playing at the time was I Don't Feel Like Dancing by Scissor Sisters and I was totally camping out. As has already been mentioned, she was very brave.

Goodbye, Becky ;) xx