Day 101: The kindness of a stranger

Regular readers of this blog will know that I've been going through some tough times lately. Years, actually, but I only admitted it to anybody else within the last few months. Now I'm happy (if you can call it that) to tell anyone that wants to listen that I suffer from depression.
For the previous two Mondays I've been talking to a psychologist (and a trainee) about it. I'm hoping that after a few more sessions they'll be able to tell me what the actual cause of the problem may be and, hopefully, offer a solution that doesn't involve taking more drugs.

In the meantime, I've been getting by with a little help from my friends (gotta love The Beatles) and family. Each one has eased my burden in their own way, some phone me, others give me a hug and one (I won't mention her name, she knows who she is) tweets me.
I've never met her, face to face, and I seriously doubt I ever will but every day we have a little chat on Twitter and my day is made a little brighter. I only recently told her of my condition and how much she helps me cope with it.
I was able to return the favour recently (again, I won't mention her situation, that's her business and not for me to broadcast online). We can't solve each others problems but it's good to know we can still help in some small way.
Thank you for being there, my friend.
That goes for all of you ;) x

Day 98: Definition of a mental breakdown

This isn't my personal definition of a mental breakdown but it made a lot of sense when it was told to me recently.

"It's the realisation that the life you thought you were going to have isn't the life that you're living."

I heard this from someone who had suffered from depression at some point in his life. It's quite surprising, once you open up and admit that you have a problem, how many other people have had similar problems in their lives.

If you're keeping your depression, or any mental illness, to yourself, may I suggest that you share your problem with someone. It won't halve it but it does lighten the load ever so slightly.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

This is the first year that my little boy has properly played in the snow and helped build his first snowman.




It wasn't as big as I wanted it to be but he was happy with the results and that's all that really matters.

Day 72: Progress

I forgot to mention, before Christmas, that I spoke to someone from a mental health clinic who was going to assess my mental state and recommend a course of action. Well, I saw him again yesterday and we have agreed to arrange an appointment with a psychologist. At last, this is what I've been wanting since day 1.
I know there's something wrong with me, or I wouldn't be depressed, and I need to find out what it is before it can be fixed. I'm still taking my medication (Sertraline) which appears to help but I don't see that as a long term solution. I never wanted to take it in the first place but it's what was prescribed. Now I might get the answers I've been searching for.
Wish me luck.

London 2013

Happy New Year and a very good morning, 2013.

All I want(ed) for Christmas

Guess what I got for Christmas. Give up? It's the latest, must- have, device for the 21st Century. It's a Kindle HD Fire! Woohoo! I love my wife sooo much, for t'was she that made me such a happy little boy all over again.
I can't find an app, such as BlogPress or Blogger, that allows me to write and post from this device, though. If anyone can suggest an app, please let me know because I'm using the Fire's web browser to post this (normally, I'd be using the iPhone app, BlogPress) and it's not an alternative that I'm entirely happy with.
Unlike the rest of the device. There's so much to discover that I'll have to post a separate review once I've got my head round it. Loving it, so far. But not as much as my wife.
Thank you, baby ;) xxx

Paper pages

It occurred to me recently that although I enjoy reading every day, I haven't actually read a book for months. It's usually online blogs and bedtime stories. So I popped down to the local library to see what I could see (see see). I came away with Retromancer, by Robert Rankin, a recent addition to his Brentford Trilogy. I wasn't disappointed. On page one was a footnote I'd like to share with you. It encapsulates what I find so enjoyable about his work.

Dot of the Antarctic was the founder of TSFTFSOTF, the unpronounceable and instantly forgettable acronym of The Society for the Forgotten Sisters of the Famous. In its heyday TSFTFSOTF numbered amongst its members not only Florence of Arabia, Fay Guevara and Sharon Munchausen, but also Jordan of Khartoum and Julia Caesar. Today the society is, alas, all but forgotten.

His style has been described, by some, as Steam Punk. I wouldn't know about that but it made me chuckle. I can't wait to read page two ;)

Muddy waters

There's been a bit of a hoohaa regarding Instagram's terms of service, lately. Some say that users' photos will be up for grabs, gratis and without the user's permission, for advertising purposes, etc. I don't know how true this is but since Facebook took ownership of one of my favourite photo sharing/social networking sites/apps, I haven't been as satisfied with the way it's been managed.

I'm already using Flickr but have since discovered that once I reach 200 uploads, that's it. Unless I choose to upgrade my membership and pay an annual fee. Not exactly appealing to me. So, I've decided to try something different. Namely, Streamzoo. I heard about it from the people I follow on Instagram. The same people who possibly stand to lose out if the rumours about Instagram's TOS turn out to be true. I quite like it so far, as I'm able to upload videos as well as pictures. And I'm not constrained by the square photo format, either. Bonus.

My username is myth337. If you're already a member, or you're thinking of joining Streamzoo, look me up. I'm still very new to it, so be kind to me.

That's the way to do it!

In my last post, I spoke about joining deviantART and how I was going to get started. Well, well, well, imagine my surprise when I discovered photos taken from the Playstation game, Gran Turismo.




I've been taking pics using the in-game photo mode for ages but didn't really have any use for them. Now I can upload them and have other like minded people take pleasure (if you can call it that) from my efforts. Result!

Getting stARTed

When I was younger I used to enjoy drawing. I would create little worlds and populate them with my own characters, having adventures in rocket ships or leaping tall buildings, superhero style. For me, it was always about the possibilities of the future and what may be. I still like to dream but I haven't put pencil to paper for such a long time, until recently, when I found myself doodling on the back of a printer test sheet.

So, I've decided to start again. Only this time I'll be posting my art online, something I wasn't able to do umpteen years ago. I found a site I'm happy with called deviantART and I've made a profile, etc, but what comes next? Do I post my doodle? Before getting ahead of myself I think I'll put up some photos I've been playing with on my iPhone. There are some pretty cool apps to make a photo look like a sketch and that's what I've been using to create some superhero-ish characters.

So, if you're interested, have a peek and see what you think. There's a link on my Home page, in the Here I Am section. All comments are welcome.