Day 312: All by myself

It's been a little over a week since I last saw my psychologist and it's also the last time I would see my psychologist. My course of treatment came to an end and I have been set adrift, left to fend for myself, in a world that isn't much different from the one I came from when it began.

 

Do I feel any great benefit from our time together? On the whole I would have to say, not really, although in her eyes I have made some progress. I guess you would have to ask the people around me if they think there is any real difference.

I'm still taking the Sertraline that I was prescribed way back in November 2012, although I'm not taking it religiously every day. Instead, I'll miss a day here and there as and when I feel I can cope without it. But again, I don't feel that it has made much difference to the way I feel or behave, partly because I used to smoke weed nearly every day for the best part of twenty years and therefore have no real reference for what normal is.

So what happens next? Where do I go from here?

 

 

Day 101: The kindness of a stranger

Regular readers of this blog will know that I've been going through some tough times lately. Years, actually, but I only admitted it to anybody else within the last few months. Now I'm happy (if you can call it that) to tell anyone that wants to listen that I suffer from depression.
For the previous two Mondays I've been talking to a psychologist (and a trainee) about it. I'm hoping that after a few more sessions they'll be able to tell me what the actual cause of the problem may be and, hopefully, offer a solution that doesn't involve taking more drugs.

In the meantime, I've been getting by with a little help from my friends (gotta love The Beatles) and family. Each one has eased my burden in their own way, some phone me, others give me a hug and one (I won't mention her name, she knows who she is) tweets me.
I've never met her, face to face, and I seriously doubt I ever will but every day we have a little chat on Twitter and my day is made a little brighter. I only recently told her of my condition and how much she helps me cope with it.
I was able to return the favour recently (again, I won't mention her situation, that's her business and not for me to broadcast online). We can't solve each others problems but it's good to know we can still help in some small way.
Thank you for being there, my friend.
That goes for all of you ;) x

Day 72: Progress

I forgot to mention, before Christmas, that I spoke to someone from a mental health clinic who was going to assess my mental state and recommend a course of action. Well, I saw him again yesterday and we have agreed to arrange an appointment with a psychologist. At last, this is what I've been wanting since day 1.
I know there's something wrong with me, or I wouldn't be depressed, and I need to find out what it is before it can be fixed. I'm still taking my medication (Sertraline) which appears to help but I don't see that as a long term solution. I never wanted to take it in the first place but it's what was prescribed. Now I might get the answers I've been searching for.
Wish me luck.

Day 7: On the seventh day...

I've been taking Sertraline for a week now and I'm really not sure it's the best thing for me. My body aches, my head aches, I lack motivation and I feel stoned most of the time. At least when I was smoking weed, I could decide when I'd had enough. This reminds me more of dropping acid; off your face for eight hours and then an exhausting return to reality. Except I don't get to experience normality because I have to take the Sertraline again the next day. Groundhog Day without any of the benefits. I think it's time to have another little chat with my GP. ASAP.

Day 1: Sertraline

So... I've been prescribed Sertraline tablets for my depression. Makes me feel a little dopey. Ironic, since I gave up smoking weed a couple of weeks ago.
I wouldn't say I was proud of myself for quitting the green stuff but it was something I had to do. Now I'm popping pills. Go figure.