Give Me A Sign!

Having been out of work for over a year I was a little nervous about the prospect of returning to full time employment. Fortunately for me a former employer had a part time job to offer me which I readily accepted. This gave me the chance to ease myself back into work without diving in at the deep end, plus I would be around some familiar faces. This has made my transition much easier and far more enjoyable than I could have hoped for.

The position itself is as Leaflet Distributor, which isn't very taxing nor prestigious, but it has shown me a side to society that I hadn't noticed before. I'm well aware that we are all different (I'm not*) but the varying degrees of difference has surprised me.

When I'm standing in the street most members of the public don't want to be handed a leaflet which may well turn out to be a piece of rubbish after they've seen what it is. Many people, myself included, simply turn down the offered leaflet as standard. There are, though, many ways in which it can be done. I've compiled a list of behaviours and categorised them below to help illustrate my point.

Polite:

Shake head

Raise hand

Little smile

Eye contact

No thank you

Avoid proximity (funny)

Make excuse

Have a chat

Ask what is being offered

Body language (micro expressions)

While it is pleasant for me that people walking by may actually speak to me, simply by saying "No, thanks", it isn't necessary if they would like me to leave them alone. The micro expressions tell me as much as anything else mentioned on the above list with almost no energy required or time wasted. It's not easy to put into words what this group of people do to indicate their reluctance to take what is being offered but once I've seen it, you are no longer a viable target on my radar. Remember, I'm only trying to give people what they want, not trying to offload as much as possible to carpet the pavement around me with discarded leaflets.

Also in this category are those who try to avoid me by walking behind me or placing someone or something between us to avoid my outstretched hand. They have me laughing inside every time, especially when they fail. They suddenly come across all flustered, unsure about what to do. God, I love the British public.

Forgivable:

Concentrating on something else

In a hurry

Didn't see me

Blocked line of sight

Hands full

Quite often, people will stroll past me deep in conversation with somebody, a friend or young child, or they may be texting away busily on their mobile phones, and while most of them will ignore me, it is understandable. I'm just another hazard to avoid bumping into. If they happen to be carrying shopping bags I'll leave them alone, although I regularly get asked to pop a leaflet into one of them. Of course I'll oblige. After all, that's what I'm here for. 

Rude:

Deny my existence

This category fairly makes my blood boil. I can be looking straight at someone with my arm outstretched and they walk past me, their gaze fixed firmly ahead. I know they have seen me by the way they carry themselves. It's kind of the opposite of the micro expressions mentioned earlier. They give away nothing to say they have seen me, therefore they don't need to accept the leaflet being offered. Except that their body language is all but screaming that they have seen me and they wish I would just go away. Rude. Don't forget, I only want people to take a leaflet who are interested in what is being offered. If it is indicated that someone is not interested, I will go away, or at least move my arm in a different direction.

To sum up, apart from those people who are unafraid to politely refuse me, there is a large group of people who feel uncomfortable turning me down. Why this should be, I couldn't say, but if you discover the answer please let me know.

(*Monty Python's The Life Of Brian)

We're putting the band back together

I'm looking to form a band. There, I've said it. It's been on my mind for several months but was just a daydream, until now. I've been a member of a small number of bands in the past and I miss the buzz of playing with other musicians, the thrill and excitement as one idea bounces off another. There are few things in this word that give me as much satisfaction and/or such an emotional high as when I'm in tune with my instrument and the people around me.

I'm a self taught guitarist with a love of the blues, although I'll often stray from the purist path and enjoy a bit of rock on the side. I am by no means the greatest guitar player you will ever hear and what I lack in technical ability, I make up for with heart and soul. Which is exactly what I'm looking for in a band mate. Someone who cares about what they're playing.

What do you play? Drums? Guitar? Bass? Piano? Harmonica? Maybe you can't play anything but love to sing. If you share my love of the blues and don't mind a bit of rock n roll, etc, then you're my man. Or woman. Black or white, short or tall. It doesn't matter to me. I live in Harrow and look forward to meeting you. If you can't travel to me (I know from experience that drums aren't the most portable of instruments) then I'll travel to you. The easiest way to contact me is via Twitter. My username is @LeesMyth. Until then have a pint or whatever takes your fancy and think about the fun we could be having together. Cheers ;)

Welcome To The Stunning Crew

For the second time in as many months we have lost another friend and it doesn't get any easier to cope with the loss of someone taken before their time. Dominic Osborne's death came out of the blue and it hit us hard. We were caught off guard, safe in the knowledge that lightning couldn't strike twice in the same place. How wrong we were.

I can only imagine how hard it must have been for Dom's family to find the words to speak at his funeral, as I struggle for words to post in my blog. I am sorry to say that they did a far better job than me. Actually, that's the way it should be and as such I  asked for permission to use his sister, Louisa's, tribute here. Thankfully she consented, only requesting that I help to promote the VMG (Virgin Money Giving) page that was set up in his honour to help those living with diabetes. Click here for details.

 

 

My darling brother Dom, my Best Friend, my Schemes & my STUNNING!

I have so many things that I want to say but it is just impossible to say it all...

It's extremely difficult to talk about the sheer magnitude your loss has had and will continue to have on myself, Richard & Sarah but especially Mum & Dad. Our lives will never be the same again but I can promise you that as your little sister (which I know a lot of people found amusing as I towered over you) I will do everything in my power to support them all through this as I know you loved us all very much. We will never stop talking about you, thinking about you or loving you.

You don't have to worry about a thing anymore Schemes, nothing at all. You are in a better place, although I would do anything to have you back here with us all now. My heart is broken and I am lost without you but I will continue to find strength and will hopefully one day have my own family who I will be proud to tell all about you.

 

You will be in my life every single day!

 

Spag bol will never be the same.

Leahy!! Your bestie! Don't worry we'll look after him!

Cheese!! It's lovely stuff you'd say. This Christmas we'll eat the best of it for you.

The fry ups, the curry nights, spicy pork with Kendo, the roasts on Sunday! Herb up the gravy it's the best! Blacking it up, the sweat towel and a huge cup of tea. Sausage casserole!!!

The master at pool, pool comps everywhere, the Apollo, The Railway, The Goodwill, The Junction. Pocket blocking in full swing, two shots red, one on the black. North Harrow Snooker hall, I never went but you, Dad & Richard had a ball.

X files, Eastenders, Star wars, Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Ghostbusters, Superman you could quote them all. You know the whole cast of enders and got annoyed if I didn't know who you were talking about... Beale the undead!!! Gremlins too.. Ra Ra that's for you! CSI!!!

Gin & Tonic... Double, Kronenbourg & lime which don't worry I'll drink all the time! Guinness, Vodka & red bull and the special Jack & coke! Yates on a Thursday, Junction on a Sunday... Ice, Ice Baby! Plus all those in between.

The fast show was one of your favs you'd quote it all day long.

Your special language with Richard will be missed most of all, shouting out boggins as you stood in the hall. I will try and learn it to make Richard smile but there is no one as funny as little old you!

Hello Pipe I shouted from the car window one day, no bag that's not pipe you cried as the man walked away. We laughed so much that we were almost sick I was desperate to see his bottle opening trick.

Dougie D all up my arse like fleas we smell panties... all up my crack! Lady D the stunning one, she always had your back! 

Kipping! Piping our eye! The barge holiday, barge poos (I'll explain that one later!) it's drifting, it's drifting... oh what laughs.

Old Bill, stand still... cop shop drop... & Lou Lou & I did drop

The leather jacket... your trade mark! Mr Khan's leather shop with 2fine!

The job!!!

Jumping Bean, Niblet! My feet are brewing & the brewster!! What ever happened to her you'd say!

Weez & Grawwny, let's go for coffee!

The deeds!!!! Deedage!

Take it I'm scared

Mum's choring! She'll keep it up but I will chore now too (bet that's music to your ears mum)

The nights we'd sit and chat about everything... it will never be the same. Smoking your mays one after the other.

The CHOONS, THE TUNES!!

Vanilla Ice

Grant no neck... We'll go here, but it closes in half hour... Don't worry... we'll carry on drinking!

The Colonel your hero, & Mum, your rock

George Lucozade & Lucozade Glucose tablets!

Jany Boy!

Almost thrown out of Claridges... only you! The Ritz, The Connaught, Tea at Browns! We dined at the best!

The fish eye when Mum said No Louisa NO!! The french restaurant where Mum spat out the snails! 

Oily Rag Nuncle? Is it man or is it boy Cliver?

Who do you think you are Ja Rule!?

We love you Jimmy!!!

The list goes on & on & on and on! Sorry that I haven't mentioned it all but I've got my life to do that for you my darling big bro

So much that will remind me of you, WELCOME TO THE STUNNING CREW!

 

 

 

'Anyone fancy a pint?'

 

 

The road less surfaced

Three days ago some huge roadwork vehicles arrived in a street around the corner, you know the kind I mean, diggers and steamrollers, etc. I had been expecting them because a week before signs had been posted in the neighbourhood stating that some road surfacing was due to take place.

Two days ago the road had been completely torn up, signs regarding uneven surfaces and ramps gave drivers fair warning what to expect.

Yesterday a lovely new road, smooth as a baby's bum, had been laid and painted and there was no sign of the industrial vehicles anywhere. That was quick, I was expecting it to take at least a week for them to finish. I shall find an excuse to take my bike for a spin, I thought, and waited patiently for an opportunity to present itself.
 

Today I needed to pop to the shop for some basics (tobacco and Coke) and seized upon the chance to ride the new road. With a smile upon my face and a helmet on my head I rode my bike up an adjoining alley to where the fresh surface awaited. Here we go and here I come.

I was not disappointed. A sigh actually escaped between my lips. Bliss. Heaven. Everything every road should be (I would be happy to pay some form of road tax if this was the standard of London's Roads). It was a pleasure almost beyond measure. Almost, because as I took a bend in the road I noticed that the eutopian surface suddenly ended a short distance ahead of me!

What?
What's going on here? How can this be? Where is the rest of the loveliness? The road workers had only resurfaced a third of the actual road! No wonder they were finished so quickly.
 

 

 

Day 316: Temptation

Getting the proverbial monkey off your back isn't easy. Making sure that it stays that way is much harder to achieve. For me, the monkey's name is Mary Jane and for the past 12 months I've  managed to keep her off my back by simply avoiding her and not giving her an opportunity to climb back on again. Until last night...

 

She strolled in nonchalantly, "Don't mind me, I'm not here for you". And she wasn't. But I kept her in my sights all the while, very much aware of her presence in the room. Seeing her is one thing, I could cope with that, it was her scent that made me feel uncomfortable. I found myself not breathing simply to avoid it. It wasn't a conscious decision, it was a reflex, it was self preservation. Fortunately, she didn't hang around for long and I could relax again.

Until someone else started to miss her.

"Where is she? Why isn't she answering her phone?" And even when she replied and said she was on her way, because she wasn't there soon enough it became "Where is she? Why isn't she answering her phone?" again. I began to feel tense. This is exactly the way I used to behave when I let her rule my life. Now I was watching someone else under her spell and I didn't like it one little bit. From now on she can do what she likes as long as she doesn't come anywhere near me. I thought I could cope with being in her presence.

I was wrong.

And I won't be putting myself in that position again.

Day 312: All by myself

It's been a little over a week since I last saw my psychologist and it's also the last time I would see my psychologist. My course of treatment came to an end and I have been set adrift, left to fend for myself, in a world that isn't much different from the one I came from when it began.

 

Do I feel any great benefit from our time together? On the whole I would have to say, not really, although in her eyes I have made some progress. I guess you would have to ask the people around me if they think there is any real difference.

I'm still taking the Sertraline that I was prescribed way back in November 2012, although I'm not taking it religiously every day. Instead, I'll miss a day here and there as and when I feel I can cope without it. But again, I don't feel that it has made much difference to the way I feel or behave, partly because I used to smoke weed nearly every day for the best part of twenty years and therefore have no real reference for what normal is.

So what happens next? Where do I go from here?

 

 

All the action of (after) the Italian Grand Prix

The Italian Grand Prix is always a bit special with a huge number of Ferrari fans in attendance. Everywhere you look, you will see the famous prancing horse and a sea of red flags but this year there was a slightly different shade of red on show. It's known as rocket red and it's the winning colour of McLaren. So why, when they haven't won a single race this year, was it so prominent? Quite simply, it was because this September marks the 50th anniversary since founder Bruce McLaren gave his name to this multi-championship winning team.

On race day it was the Red Bulls and Ferraris that dominated the front of the pack with Sebastian Vettel leading from pole to take yet another dominating win during his campaign to win a forth consecutive world title. After the opening stint in which Paul di Resta crashed his Force India at the second chicane ending his race prematurely, for the second time in a row, and Kimi Raikkonen pitting his Lotus for a new nose cone, after running into the back of Sergio Perez's McLaren at the first chicane. The Grand Prix was a pretty hum drum affair. It wasn't until the last ten or so laps that it began to get exciting again with Lewis Hamilton, having lost radio communication with the Mercedes team early on, and Raikkonen battling with team mates Jenson Button and Perez for the last points paying positions. Ultimately, it was Kimi and Checo that lost out, with Hamilton and Button crossing the line in 9th and 10th respectively. Vettel stood on the top step of the podium after the GP flanked by Ferrari driver Fernando Alonso and Red Bull team mate Mark Webber. Driver of the day has to be Sauber driver, Nico Hulkenberg who qualified in a very respectable 3rd place and went on to finish in 5th, after only being passed by the two Ferraris at the start of the race.

Two days after the Italian Grand Prix, 4th place finisher, Felipe Massa announced via Twitter that he would be leaving Ferrari at the end of the season. At the time of writing it is unconfirmed who would be taking his place but rumours abound that Kimi Raikkonen is most likely to be partnering Alonso next year. Me, I have my doubts, but I'm betting it won't be long before Ferrari reveal their 2014 driver line up.

UPDATE: Three days after the Italian Grand Prix and I thought I'd better have a peek on Twitter before posting to my blog. Just as well that I did as Ferrari have announced that Kimi Raikkonen WILL be Fernando's team mate next year. Shows what I know!

Changing Fortunes at the Belgian GP

It's been a long four weeks since the Hungarian Grand Prix and Formula 1 couldn't have returned a day too soon. Nor could it have returned to a better racetrack than the classic Belgian circuit of Spa-Francorchamps. It's a firm favourite of drivers and fans alike and has appeared consistently on the F1 calendar since the very first season, way back in 1950. Due to it's unique location it has it's own micro climate and owing to it's length, can often have rain on one part of the track while being simultaneously dry on another, which often makes for an unpredictable race weekend.

This was highlighted during qualifying on Saturday when Force India driver, Paul Di Resta, claimed provisional pole position early in Q3 by being the only driver on wet tyres as rain started to fall. Unfortunately for him the track began to dry very quickly and in the dying moments of the session had his time beaten by the Red Bull and Mercedes teammates with Lewis Hamilton, in the last car to cross the line, securing pole position.

Starting from 5th on the grid would at least give di Resta a good chance of scoring some points come race day. Sadly, this was not to be. Going through the Bus Stop chicane on lap 27 Pastor Maldonado's Williams got caught in a Force India sandwich, bounced off Adrian Sutil's car and ended Paul's race by shunting him off the track with extensive car damage.

Another driver that had a change of fortune was ex-World Champion, Kimi Raikkonen. His record run of 27 consecutive race finishes ended with brake failure, forcing him to retire at the end of lap 24. This is only his second non-points scoring race since joining Lotus and I think I'm right in saying that he was the only driver to complete every lap of the 2012 season.

In contrast, Ferrari's Fernando Alonso started from 9th place, due to the rain affected qualifying session, yet managed a great start when the lights went out and set a blistering pace allowing him to carve his way through the field in spectacular fashion to finish on the podium in 2nd place. The only man able to fend him off was Red Bull driver and Championship leader, Sebastian Vettel. Unless Fernando, Lewis or Kimi can pull off a few more race wins it looks like Vettel will take his fourth consecutive title.

 

Farewell my friend

In the week since Becky Kennett left us, we have each dealt with it in our own way. Many of us (and believe me, there were MANY) left a message on Becky's Facebook page. I have decided to quote as many as I could in my blog. This is what little I can do to show my respect for a woman that lived every moment of her life to the fullest and never gave up.

"You are a beautiful soul Becky and know you will be missed by many."
"Cannot believe that heaven has taken another beautiful angel way too early."
"I can't express how much you will be missed... You have left a huge whole in the world, loved by so many, you will be missed more then you will ever know."
"...glad your out of pain now. R.I.P Angel."
"I hope you have found peace in heaven. Goodbye for now until we one day meet again..."
"...you have touched so many people's life's. You will be missed."
"I didn't even know about your battle Becky. Way way way too young"
"Live life to the full, let go of hatred and be compassionate to others. The people you love and care about may not be here tomorrow."
"Sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, Becky."
"You stayed so strong throughout your battle...every time I saw you, you never failed to have a beaming smile on your face."
"It was a great pleasure to have known you!"
"You have been taken way to soon, I only hope you know how much you touched my life and everyone who knows you!"
"This has made me realise life is too short to wait for things and plan ahead, we must live for the now!"
"In the words of my 5 year old! Don't be upset mummy, u can't go for dinner or lunch with Becky anymore but u can always talk to her in heaven whenever u want."
"Life can be very unfair but, looking at what everyone has written, you definitely left your mark."
"What a terrible loss to the world, a beautiful light has gone out."
"...always made me smile, and a pleasure to have known you...""You have been so brave & I now hope you are at peace."
"...we had a lot of laughs and good times...that is something that I will treasure..."
"...one of the most beautiful, kind, funny girl I've ever had the pleasure of meeting..."
"...such an amazing person, not just a beautiful girl outside but inside as well. so happy to have met u and call u a friend."
"There was never a dull moment with U around Always Smiling Laughing..."
"I've got nothing but fond memories of you..."
"You will be most stunningly missed."
"You were one in a million, who always made everyone smile with your infectious personality. So glad I had you in my life."
"Shine brightly in the sky always."
"You brightened up everyone's lives who were fortunate enough to meet you."
"...such a laugh and joy to be with..."
"Will always remember the good times."
"I want to hear your infectious laugh just one more time."
"You were always the life of the party, I will remember you as bubbly and happy. One of the kindest people I've known."
"Friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know they are always there."

My own personal memory of Becky was when she danced with me when nobody else would. To put it into perspective, the music that was playing at the time was I Don't Feel Like Dancing by Scissor Sisters and I was totally camping out. As has already been mentioned, she was very brave.

Goodbye, Becky ;) xx

Formula 1 - The silly season

It's usually around this time of year, about halfway through the F1 calendar, that the silly season begins. It's a time of guesswork and prediction, speculation and rumour. Which driver will be driving for which team next year? Who will be moving up the order, who will be moving down? Which rising star will get their first race seat and which driver has decided enough is enough, time to move on and retire from the pinnacle of motorsport?

That last question can easily be answered but it's an answer which throws up many more questions. Australian, Mark Webber, currently team mate to Sebastian Vettel at Red Bull Racing, will hang up his horns at the end of this season. There are two drivers waiting in the wings at Toro Rosso, the RBR junior team, ready to jump into his race seat. I believe both Daniel Ricciardo and Jean-Eric Vergne are part of the young driver programme and joining the big boys would be a natural progression. But the natural choice isn't always the best choice as Kimi Raikkonen's contract with Lotus expires soon. Could he be the next Red Bull driver? Kimi will have to decide whether he wants to re-sign with the team that brought him back into Formula 1 or make a move to fill Webber's vacant seat.

Personally, I think that Raikkonen should stay at Lotus as it's a team that are gradually improving, year on year, and that as successful as RBR have been over the last four years, it's a success that won't be easy to maintain. Kimi could find himself being passed on track by his current team if he jumps ship too soon. History has shown that F1 teams tend to evolve in cycles, a few years of growth and winning followed by a few more declining and fighting to claw their way back to the top.

It's at this stage that teams like Williams and McLaren now find themselves. Williams have failed to score a single point so far this season, an unprecedented position for this multi championship winning team and McLaren, celebrating 50 years in F1 later this year, haven't had a driver anywhere near the podium. It's this information which leads me to believe that Kimi Raikkonen should stay with a team that are on the upswing rather then joining an already waning Red Bull. Although they are still leading both championships it's not anything like the domination they showed in previous years.

That still leaves the question unanswered and is likely to remain that way until a driver or team confirms it's intent for the following year. Until then, enjoy the silly season.

Harrow stabbing: update

Since posting on this blog yesterday about the stabbing which took place in Harrow, I have learned a little more through the grapevine. Don't take it as gospel but I have no reason to doubt the information as I heard the same details from more than one source.

At about 9:30 on Monday morning the police were called to a house on Hindes road and were joined by various medical teams including an air ambulance which landed nearby in the Harrow recreation ground. Two adults, one male and one female, were taken to Northwick Park hospital. Apparently, this was due to a domestic dispute which seriously got out of hand. As I understand it, during the argument the male had attacked the female with a knife and then turned it on himself. It is unconfirmed at this time whether there had been a fatality or not but at least one, if not both, are in a critical condition.

With the exception of a solitary police officer standing outside the address, everything appeared quite normal this morning. The crime scene tape had been removed and both Hindes road and Harrow View were open again. 

Harrow Stabbing

Five police cars, two ambulances and an air ambulance overhead. Not something you expect to see every day, especially when it's all but next door to the school your son attends. So I stopped to take some photos and post them on twitter. It wasn't long before I was being tweeted by the local newspaper asking if they can use my photos. I told them they could and answered a few questions. It wasn't long before my name was being used in the online article which I have copied and pasted here, along with the photos that I posted on twitter.

Murder detectives at scene of Harrow stabbing

Jul 8 2013 By Ian Proctor

MURDER detectives are present at a house where a man and a woman were discovered with serious injuries believed to be sustained in a stabbing.

Police were called at 9.30am to a report of an assault at a property in Hindes Road, and paramedics responded to a 999 call about a stabbing at the address.

The house is a corner home at the junction of Hindes Road and Headstone Road. 

A police spokeswoman said a man and a woman were found "suffering injuries" and a London Ambulance Service spokeswoman confirmed the pair, both believed to be in their 30s, were alive at that time.

The woman was in a critical condition and both were taken to hospital.

Police have been unable to provide an update on their condition but Trinity Church in Hides Road is being used as a base by murder detectives.

Lee Smyth, 40, of Radnor Avenue, who was picking up his son from a pre-school in Radnor Road, said: "I can tell you that the road is still closed from Welldon Crescent to Harrow View. 

"It is blocked off completely. Apparently there was a murder in a house on Hindes Road and I asked an officer and he told me it was nothing to worry about.

"Now is the time we would normally pick up our kids from pre-school and the teacher let them out the back way."

Hindes Road remains closed off and there are delays on Headstone Road.Norbury School, in nearby Welldon Crescent, Harrow, remains open while Quainton Hall School, next to Trinity Church, had already closed to pupils on Friday.

Did you see or hear anything or take any photographs of the incident? Call the newsdesk on 01895 451054 or e-mail hannah.bewley@trinitymirror.com

Tyred Out

The British Grand Prix started off well with Lewis Hamilton's Mercedes leading the race from pole position, closely followed by Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel and fellow Mercedes driver, Nico Rosberg. It was not to last though as, within a handful of laps, Hamilton's left rear tyre disintegrated coming out of turn 5. Having only just passed the start/finish straight he was forced to limp around the rest of the lap before he could enter the pits for fresh rubber, dropping him from first to last.

This was not to be the only tyre issue during the race as Felipe Massa (Ferrari), Jean-Eric Vergne (Toro Rosso) and Sergi Perez (McLaren) all had major blow outs, some quite spectacularly, while battling for position at high speed. The amount of debris from these tyres required the deployment of a pair of road sweepers under safety car conditions. There was much debate about the reason for the tyre failures during the GP. If it wasn't from a sharp kerb/circuit issue then Pirelli will need to get its act together pretty quickly.

Toward the end of the race Vettel's Red Bull suddenly lost power, cruising to a standstill on the racetrack. A huge cheer went up from the pit straight grandstand, not, I feel, from any sense of dislike for the triple world champion himself but more for the fact that, like myself, the predominately British crowd knew that this would blunt his lead over the other drivers.

I don't know about you but I like a championship to be decided at the last Grand Prix of the season between two or three drivers, under immense pressure to claim the title of Formula 1 World Champion. How exciting was it when Lewis and Sebastian won their first titles? Nobody could have guessed the final outcome until the final lap had been completed by each of the drivers in the hunt. That's when F1 is at its best.

Rosberg claimed victory on this day, flanked on the podium byRed Bull's Mark Webber, who had a tough but determined race after being knocked off track at the first corner, and Ferrari's Fernando Alonso, second in the championship and desperate for his third title.

As a McLaren fan I wasn't impressed to see Sergio Perez retire close to the end of the race with car damage from his high speed blowout or Jenson Button crawling across the line in an unlucky 13th place. The twitter hashtag #BelieveInMcLaren has been adopted by the team in recent weeks. I haven't given up on them but it isn't easy to watch such a successful team failing so miserably.

 

The "Great" British Grand Prix

This weekend Formula 1 returns to its spiritual home. The Silverstone circuit hosted the inaugural Grand Prix way back in 1950 and has been an almost permanent fixture ever since.

The qualifying session for today's race held a few surprises which, as a McLaren fan, have left me less than happy. In the first session (Q1) the top 10 places were filled by the usual suspects, Mercedes, Lotus, Red Bull, McLaren and Force India. The biggest surprise here was that the Ferrari team mates, Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa, were 14th and 15th, barely scraping through to Q2.

The next session is the reason for my (Mc)misery as neither Jenson Button nor, McLaren new boy, Sergio Perez managed to get their cars into the top ten. Button starts from 11th and Perez 14th. This season is probably the worst I've ever seen my favourite team competing at since I started seriously following the sport in 2001.

Q3 barely matters to me by this point but I'm going to give you the details anyway.

In pole position is Lewis Hamilton flanked by Mercedes team mate Nico Rosberg. On row two are Red Bull drivers, Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber.

Actually, I really can't be bothered with who is on what row. The fact that McLaren are so far down the order has me bordering on depression. It won't stop me watching the race but I really wish they would pull their fingers out and make me proud.

Handcrafted cards by Robin's Myth

My wife has been making cards for many years, long before I met her, in fact and she has had some small success selling them to family and friends. I like what she does very much so I suggested that we could make a proper business out of this if we pulled together and worked hard at it. So for the last year we have been slowly creating our little empire, still only selling to those closest to us but always with a view to something more. We have a Twitter account and a Facebook page, using the name Robin's Myth, which are both steadily attracting followers and likers, respectively and even have a verbal contract of sorts with a well known card retailer but for some reason just couldn't get our act together to make it work. Until now.

Later this morning I'm going to take nearly 100 handcrafted cards, etc to a table sale at our 4 year olds preschool. We don't expect it to be a massive event but it will be the first time we've put them on display for people to buy. Normally my wife receives an order from someone we know for a particular occasion such as a birthday or Christmas and then she creates whatever is desired, usually for very little money. This time is very different for us as we've had to create a large quantity of cards for stock, we're both happily exhausted with the result and the only downside of the event is that my wife cannot attend herself as she works on a Saturday.
 

I wish she could be there too, to interact with our customers and have a little banter with them because I think she'd be great at it. If you're in the Harrow area between 10:00 and noon pay a visit to Trinity church on Hindes Road and I'll flirt as much money out of you as decently possible. You won't be disappointed with your purchases (or my flirting) because you can't get cards like these anywhere else. If you can't make it then follow these links to Twitter & Facebook and put in an order or just say hello, we don't bite and we're always happy to spend a few minutes being sociable.
 

Le Mans 2013

I have never watched the Le Mans 24 hour race before today but about an hour ago I was flicking through the channels and there it was. Ok, I thought, lets take a look at this and see what's what. Having raced on the track within the Gran Turismo Playstation game I thought I knew what to expect. How wrong could I be? It looks absolutely terrifying at those speeds in the dark! Those drivers have to be incredibly courageous in order to compete at this level of motorsport.


Unfortunately, accidents still happen. While searching twitter for whatever information I could glean about the race I discovered that the leading driver, Allan Simonsen, crashed his Aston Martin on lap 4 and lost his life. According to the commentators, his family urged the teams to continue racing as that's what they thought he would have wanted. Much respect.


Having next to no knowledge about the sport, except that it's held in France over a 24 hour period, I'm finding the commentary to be very informative. It feels like when I started watching Formula 1 over a decade ago, desperate to learn as much as I could about the on track action. I'm pleasantly surprised that I even recognise a few names of ex-F1 drivers in the race, such as Alan McNish, Lucas Di Grasi, Kamui Kobayashi and Giancarlo Fisichella.

If my wife lets me, I may even watch an hour or two in the morning.

F1 by the numbers

Last weekend's Canadian Grand Prix threw up some interesting statistics that I'd like to share with you, some being more positive than others, starting with the number 100. That's the number of GPs that Force India have competed in since their entering the Formula 1 world championship in 2008.
They've had their ups and downs, the most notable up being the 2009 Belgian GP where they very nearly won their first race with, then driver, Giancarlo Fisichella, who eventually finished 2nd behind Kimi Raikkonen. This season Force India are currently sitting above F1 veterans Williams and, surprisingly, McLaren in the championship.




This leads me nicely onto my next stat. McLaren's run of 64 consecutive points finishes came to an end in Canada. Regular readers will know I'm a huge fan of the team but I've felt disappointment more often than not this year. I've been used to seeing McLaren fighting, if not for the win, then at least for the podium. They've always been at the sharp end of the grid, racing hard, always focused on winning the championship but something is wrong with the car and both drivers, Jenson Button and Sergio Perez, have been struggling to qualify in the top 10 at far too many races to have a hope in hell of coming anywhere close to being the 2013 world champions.




In contrast to McLaren's woes, Kimi Raikkonen has equaled 7 times world champion Michael Schumacher's record of 24 consecutive points finishes which is pretty impressive, given that he took two years out of Formula 1 to try his hand at rallying. If I'm not mistaken, I'll put my hands up if I am, he was the only driver to have completed 100% of the laps in 2012. Kimi has always been one of my favourite drivers, nearly winning the drivers title in 2003 and 2005 before stealing it out from under the noses of Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso in 2007. So there's a fair chance, as long as Lotus continue to push the development of their car, that Raikkonen could be fighting for the title again by end of the year.




Finally, and this brings me no pleasure to repeat this awful news, the first fatality in 12 years occurred in Canada when a track marshal was struck by a recovery vehicle during the Grand Prix. The last fatality took place at the Australian GP in 2001 when a wheel detached from Jacque Villeneuve's BAR during a high speed collision and struck a marshal, Graham Beveridge, critically wounding him. On this occasion it was a less dramatic accident that caused the marshal's death. While removing Esteban Gutierrez' Sauber from beside the track Mark Robinson dropped his radio and while attempting to retrieve it was crushed by the wheels of the recovery vehicle. He was taken to hospital but eventually succumbed to his injuries. Accidents happen and, although I am saddened by his death, take small comfort that every precaution is taken to ensure the safety of all involved. Just a few decades ago it was common to lose a great many drivers each year. Now, after any on track accident I fully expect to see the driver walking away from their car, no matter how bad the wreckage, nursing only their pride. With just a handful of exceptions, most notably Robert Kubica's horrific crash in 2007 and Felipe Massa's freak head injury in 2009, that's exactly what happens.

There is no pain, you are receding

I've been going through some changes over the last couple of years and reaching the grand old age of 40 has only served to highlight my situation.




Last month I had to donate some jeans and trousers to a local charity shop because (shock, horror) they didn't fit me anymore. I've always been slim, some would even say skinny, and I've always had trouble finding jeans, etc, that wouldn't slide off my hips without the aid of a belt, so you can imagine my surprise when I couldn't even button them up.
And don't mention my T-shirts. For most of my twenties I wore a medium because that's what I thought I was. Medium. Average. But no. I eventually accepted the truth and started buying small, slim T-shirts and I actually started to feel that I looked good in what I was wearing. Now I tend to look like a snake that's swallowed a watermelon.




In my late teens to early twenties my hair was my crowning glory, starting with an almost Brian May kind of style that was, now I think about it, quite awful (I got a lot of stick for it at school). Over time I let the curls straighten out as it grew longer and let it flow past my shoulders on it's way down my back. How proud I was, I considered it to be akin to Samson's locks, a source of strength, etc.
Securing employment meant that I was forced to have a more public friendly image, hence a shorter style but in the back of my mind I always intended to grow it again when the opportunity presented itself.
Ha!
Ever wondered why I always wear a hat? My hair is receding and not in a respectable widow's peak kind of way. It has formed two desolate islands of hair above my forehead that makes me look like I have horns. And not in a cool Hellboy kind of way, either!
Now you know why I wear a hat. It'll be reading glasses next!

Rosberg rulez ok

In the handful of races so far this season Mercedes have been seen to qualify well only for their race pace to drop off during the Grand Prix. Monaco, with it's tight, twisty circuit that's notoriously difficult to overtake on, provided the team with a chance to score their first win of 2013. At least, this was my prediction. Just call me Nostradamus.




Pole sitter, Nico Rosberg, controlled the race perfectly from start to finish and it was only the intervention of a safety car period, one of two, that ruined team mate, Lewis Hamilton's, chances of a 1-2 finish. In the end, the remaining podium positions were claimed by the Red Bull drivers, Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber, who finished 2nd and 3rd respectively.




The chances of Mercedes winning another Grand Prix this season is fairly slim. With the exception of the Singapore GP, the rest of the races will be held on traditional circuits with plenty of overtaking opportunities and run off areas thereby negating Mercedes' advantage from qualifying. That said, however, I would personally like to see either Nico or Lewis on the top step on the podium again. Next stop... Canada.




Footnote: Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikonen turned up for the race with inappropriate helmets. One driver was allowed to wear his. Can you guess which one?

Day 201: Conversations and role play

It has been a couple of months since a last posted anything about my trips to the psychologist. Mostly because I felt that there wasn't any real progress and partly because I was feeling a little guilty for not doing my homework. By homework, I mean the mood chart. I was to choose an emotion (anxiety, stress, etc) and for each hour of the day, mark out of ten, how I felt, 1 being not depressed, 10 bordering on suicidal. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to complete even one day of the chart, let alone one week.

The lack of progress centred around the fact that all our conversations appeared very one way, with my psychologist asking relatively short questions followed by me giving long, detailed answers. Quite often I would reach what I thought was the end of my answer only to find my psychologist looking at me expectantly, waiting to see what else I have to say.




It's quite an unusual position to find myself in considering that most people I talk to have always got something to say. Having someone actually listen to me without them thinking about what they're going to say next isn't something that happens every day. For me it occurs for one hour, once a week, excluding bank holidays, sickness and acts of God.

Speaking of acting, the point of this post was to reveal how something different had happened during our most recent session together. We did some role play. The purpose of this was to put me in a situation where I might find myself getting angry. It worked quite well in that even though I didn't lose my temper, I did begin to feel uncomfortable. My psychologist had asked me to let her know if I started getting worked up during the exercise. I guess she didn't want me losing my rag and trashing her office. Can't say I blame her, I wouldn't be too keen either.

Towel day

Have you got your own towel? That's all your going to need on the 25th of May because it's Towel Day! You may not have heard of it, I only learned about it earlier this year but have decided to get actively involved.




What is Towel Day, you may ask yourself? Well, allow me to explain as best I can. Many years ago the late, great Douglas Adams wrote The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. It started as a radio play before going to print, then it became a popular TV series and recently made it onto the silver screen. In essence, the story follows Arthur Dent's misadventures around the galaxy after the Earth is demolished (for reasons that would take too long to explain here).




One of the supporting characters, while being quite unsupportive and insensitive to poor Arthur's plight, is Ford Prefect, a writer for The Guide, and it is he that introduces Arthur to the requirement of the intergalactic Hitchhiker; always carry a towel (again, the reasons are many so you'll have to read it for yourself, something I suggest all free thinking sentient lifeforms do at least once in their lifetimes).




Anyway, at some point somebody or somebodies decided to honour Mr Adams by starting Towel Day and since then many of his fans have carried a towel around with them for one day of the year. If you're a fan of the radio/book/TV series or film then please join me on the 25th of May and carry your towel with pride.

http://www.towelday.org/